Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
