I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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