Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
