I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize