he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
