We're like a lot better than the average bears
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
