If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
