But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
