Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
