Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
