Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
