I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A bitchslap is in order.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize