She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I got inside last night via doggy door
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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