Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
