I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
