u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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