Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
