i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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