Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
