thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
