my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
handjob tips. give me some.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
