I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
