i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
