what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
