I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
