; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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