This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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