I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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