I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
