i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
