there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
