I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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