when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
