the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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