i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
