i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
