We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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