im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
