He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
