I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
