My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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