You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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