Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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