hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
