Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize