i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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