DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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