I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
