If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
