I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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