remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
