Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
