I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize