question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
