i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
farters have to be the big spoon...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
