I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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