I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
