Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
