i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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