I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
