My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
