I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
